


Burdened

by NashidaKyouko



Series: Rangshi Week 2020 [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Rise of Kyoshi - Fandom, Shadow of Kyoshi - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, One Shot, PoV 3rd Person, Post-SoK, Rangshi - Freeform, Rangshi Week, Rangshi Week 2020, Rangshi Week: Hurt/Comfort, just towards the beginning really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26570632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NashidaKyouko/pseuds/NashidaKyouko
Summary: Kyoshi deals with another kill under her belt. She hopes to find solace from Yangchen, but it turns out only Rangi can figure out the right thing to say. For Rangshi Week 2020 Day 4: Hurt/Comfort
Relationships: Kyoshi/Rangi (Avatar)
Series: Rangshi Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926838
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	Burdened

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own RoK/SoK/AtLA or the characters.

“Daddy, no!”

The child's screams were the last piece of encouragement Kyoshi needed.

Without a second's hesitation, she shot a focused spike of earth straight through the waterbender's chest. The fluids he'd been freezing at that moment instantly reverted, and the girl's father let out a strangled breath. Most of his organs were probably still frozen, but his lungs returned to him in time and his heart was untouched. If he were treated quickly, he would live.

Kyoshi's actions were a blur to her own mind at that point. Now that the immediate threat had passed, the weight of murder began to settle on her shoulders, cold and suffocating. There was no need to verify the thug's death. She felt him die through the earth. He was a known criminal. She had come here to put an end to his scheme of freezing peoples' organs and trading them for gold. It was better that he died. That didn't stop the bile from rising in her throat with the knowledge that she'd been the one who killed him.

Kyoshi was only vaguely aware of helping the family get tended to. The image of the crime-lord impaled on her earth-spike permeated her mind so fully that she hardly noticed the proceedings around her. The man's henchmen came out of hiding, shaking in fear. She did remember that. What was expected to be a longer battle was shortened by their leader's gruesome death. None of them wanted to risk meeting the same fate. They simply surrendered.

Rangi, in full battle regalia but without having had to throw a single punch, walked over and put her hand on Kyoshi's shoulder. Or she tried to, anyway. Kyoshi quickly stepped away, not once looking at her wife's face.

“I'm going to talk to Yangchen when we get home.”

They made their trip in silence.

*

Kyoshi wandered listlessly towards the pond where her fox had taken her the first time they met. Where she first contacted Avatar Yangchen. She found the airbender gave her great comfort when she struggled with her role in the world. She talked to Kuruk, too, of course, but Yangchen's motherly demeanor sometimes made all the difference. Her fox trailed behind her at a distance. She tried to get him to stay home, but he refused to leave her completely alone when she was this distressed. He gave her a dozen yards of space, but no more.

Reaching the calm little pond, Kyoshi wasted no time meditating. After a few quiet moments, she felt a warm presence before her and opened her eyes to find Yangchen smiling at her. As always, her form was somewhat translucent, but her long face and flowing robes still stood out in pristine detail.

“I had to kill again.” Kyoshi spoke before Yangchen could ask why she'd been summoned. Her voice was heavy. She looked directly into Yangchen's soft, understanding eyes.

“I see. I'm sorry. I know that burdens you greatly. But it is sometimes the only option. It is better to feel sorrow over it than joy, but you mustn't let it destroy you, Kyoshi.” Yangchen placed her hand on Kyoshi's. She frowned when she realized Kyoshi wasn't really hearing her. “Kyoshi?”

Kyoshi's attention had been stolen by a family of turtle-ducks making their way towards the pond. The mother stopped every now and then to make sure all of her ducklings were caught up, quacking at any stragglers to waddle faster. One of the ducklings had a particularly hard time keeping up. It seemed that every snag in the wooded grass tripped the duckling up, made it fall behind. Once, it even managed to get turned on its back, but each time its mother waited for it or helped it back up. The sight made Kyoshi feel empty.

She turned back towards Yangchen. “Sorry. I just saw something in them...”

“It's all right. Is there anything you wanted? It doesn't seem like I'm doing much to help you feel better.”

“You're right. I'm sorry. Thank you for what you said. I think maybe I should just go home for tonight.” Kyoshi ended the communication, feeling guilty for calling on Yangchen only to essentially brush her off.

But she didn't need to hear that it was okay to kill people. She'd heard that plenty of times from plenty of people. She knew that it was justifiable, and that she'd done the right thing. That didn't mean she didn't feel awful.

She rose with a sigh, dusting herself off. Sparing one more look at the turtle-ducks, Kyoshi made her way back home.

*

Rangi was leaning against the side of the nearest wall when Kyoshi got back, arms crossed casually. Unlike Kyoshi, she'd removed her makeup and armor. She perked up when she saw Kyoshi approaching.

“You're back sooner than I expected.” She kicked off the wall and met Kyoshi halfway, insistently taking one of Kyoshi's stiff hands. Kyoshi was still as despondent as she'd been when she left. Talking to Yangchen apparently hadn't helped. Rangi's eyebrows turned up with concern as she walked with Kyoshi along the dirt path to the door. “Is there anything I can do?”

Kyoshi shrugged. She felt trapped in her armor, but also like that's what she deserved. Her kill count was up to 6 people. She wasn't even sure she deserved Rangi's hand around hers. She tried to wriggle free, but Rangi held tighter instead.

They reached their room. Rangi grabbed a towel and began to clean the makeup from Kyoshi's face, her touch gentle. She still held fast to Kyoshi's hand. With a little coaxing, she managed to get Kyoshi to sit on the edge of their bed as she worked.

“You know you did the right thing, yeah? He killed so many people. And he was going to kill that family.”

“... Couldn't I have crushed his hands or something instead? Did I really not have any other choices, Rangi?” Kyoshi's voice was hoarse, tears flowing down her face.

“Not when he was freezing that little girl's father right in front of her. He was killing the man from the inside out. If you had crushed his hands, maybe he would have used his breath for a rush job before you could have stopped him.”

The last of Kyoshi's makeup washed away, Rangi put the towel aside. She kneeled on the polished wooden floor in front of Kyoshi, trying to catch Kyoshi's eyes with her own. Kyoshi adamantly refused to meet her gaze, no matter how earnest her attempt.

Rangi almost pouted, but she knew this wasn't the time. This was about Kyoshi, not her, not even them. Instead, she slowly peeled off Kyoshi's gauntlets and heavy boots, then removed her golden headdress. Kyoshi continued to brood in silence. Her self-loathing cascaded off of her, tangible as the armor itself. It was obvious she needed something to help snap her out of this, but validations over the killing only seemed to be making things worse. Rangi took Kyoshi's hands in hers again as she thought about what her wife was feeling.

Neither of them had any real sense of how much time passed in the quiet of the night. It was already dark when Kyoshi got back, and dark it stayed. Their room was the only one that remained lit after a short while, so it must have been late, at least. But it could have been minutes or hours before Rangi found the words she felt were right.

“Do you even remember that wasn't the only thing you did today? You _healed_ that family, too.”

Kyoshi scoffed lightly. “I did what? I couldn't have.”

“I know. You couldn't heal them completely all by yourself. But you stabilized that mother by stopping the bleeding where she'd been stabbed by ice.” Rangi touched Kyoshi's shoulder, where the woman had bled.

“You healed the worst of the damage from the cuts on the child.” Rangi brushed her hands across Kyoshi's right arm and torso, where the child had been hurt.

“You helped defrost her father before it was too late to save him, Kyoshi. You saved their lives, not just by taking someone else's, but through your own power.” Rangi took Kyoshi's face in her hands, forcing her to look her in the eyes. “I am so proud of you.”

Kyoshi was bewildered. “... That really happened? I-I was pretty out of it after I killed him... I... knew they were okay, but are you sure I did all that? Maybe a little bit of healing, but...”

Rangi nodded, wiping the tears from Kyoshi's cheeks.

“You need to remember that your power is used for more than destruction. Your power—it is used to save and to heal, too. You are more than a force of raw, unfettered strength. You've worked so hard to make sure of that.” Rangi's bronze eyes fiercely held on to Kyoshi's. She rubbed her thumbs in small circles on Kyoshi's temples. “You've healed me before, and you'll probably heal me again sometime. I know Atuat says you're still clumsy with healing, but you're always getting better. Isn't that amazing, Kyoshi? You can heal people, too. You aren't just some killer.”

Kyoshi looked at Rangi in wonder, slack-jawed and all. Of course her glowing girl figured out what she needed to hear. It didn't erase the deaths, but she could change her focus. She wasn't just a killer, she was a healer. The memory of healing Rangi years ago flooded Kyoshi with warmth. Tears continued to fall, but they weren't only sorrowful anymore.

Kyoshi's eyes flickered with hope as she tugged Rangi up into a tight embrace. This was enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> This basic idea came to me when I was brainstorming for this event, but it didn’t really pan out at the time. But then I worked with it a little bit more and managed to get something that I think works pretty well! So, it’s late, but here you go, a 5th entry!  
> Please leave kudos if you liked it and thanks for reading!


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